Has anyone else noticed the declining view of men in media? It seems to me that the image of men, especially in television ads that the American man has been reduced to a stupid, lazy, incompetent ape, undeserving of the bold, intelligent, self-sufficient beautiful women they are often paired with. All of this is done in the name of making us laugh. I think this is a response to the stereotype that men are really just the figureheads of families, but the women really control everything.While some of this may be based in a silly but true seed of truth, the fact that the only commercials to show men not being idiots are ads selling men hygiene products is sad.

The answer to gender equality is not turning the tables. I’m all for strong, intelligent, beautiful women who can take care of themselves, but how can these women expect to find smart, funny, considerate men in this world when the culture of our media perpetuates this less-than-satisfactory image of the American man. I’m not asserting that we do away with the caricature. I think it’s funny, but it is overdone. Let’s tone it down a bit and get some more positive images out there. And ladies, let’s have the grace not to cry sexism when those positive images do make it on the scene.

I abandoned my husband during Sunday School at our new church to start attending a women’s only class. We’re doing this study by Susan Andringa called The Esteemed Journey: Discovering Your Full Worth in Christ. We’re only in the second week so its a little too soon to judge, but so far, I’m not impressed. It’s nothing against the people who picked it or Susan Andringa, but so far it’s not giving me tangible ways to deal with my burdens that its making me confront.

The good thing from this class has been the people in it. Since moving to a new town, it’s been difficult to meet people, especially other Christian women. I had forgotten what I had been missing out on. Just being in the same room and talking with other Christian ladies for an hour each week has acted as Red Bull for my soul.

Ladies, we need each other. We need to hang out, talk, support and pray for each other. Women were not supposed to live in isolation. We were supposed to be there for each other. You won’t know how important it is until they are no longer there.

As hard as I try to not like it and resist what is popular, I can’t help but like Taylor Swift’s song “Love Story.” It’s just too catchy! I do have one beef with the lyrics of this song, however. It works nicely with the song, but the lines about “I’ve been feelin’ so alone” and “You never have to alone” send the wrong message to women.

Loneliness is one of my biggest fears. It’s what fuels my self-diagnosed hypochondria and my fear of flying. The idea of being alone when something bad happens terrifies me. I think this fear is shared by many people, especially among women. It is what often fuels our desire for relationships, especially those of the romantic variety. Fear of loneliness also fuels many a marriage proposal. It’s natural. We want a family. We want someone to care whether we come or go. We want someone to come home to, fall asleep with and wake up to. There is nothing wrong with those desires, but where these desires go wrong is when we expect those relationships to annhilate any loneliness. Just because you are married or in a relationship doesn’t mean loneliness will not come. No other person can truly understand you, your life, your problems all the time. No person can be there for you all the time. This puts too much pressure on the significant other and the relationship.

While no person can always be there for us, God can. God can fill that loneliness that haunts all of us. This puts no pressure on Him because He can handle it. He is God after all. He is the only one who is always there, always understands, and fulfills our every need. Instead of turning to the person next to you, we (I included, I really suck at this) need to turn to and lean on God to fill our voids because He’s the only one who can fill it completely and not leave us wanting more.

One of my favorite magazine’s is not only celebrating women this month but also 70 years of magazine awesomeness. Check out this creative, interesting, beautifully done piece on American Women Icons in this month’s issue.

It’s much cooler in person so I stress buying the magazine (its also packed with other incredible features on women artists, women saving the planet, and good old beauty and health tips), but click the link if you don’t have five bucks to spare.

Here it is again! In honor of March being Women’s History Month, I’m posting my list of women I admire. Mostly it’s a list of public women who I find myself drawn to, either because I love what they’re doing for women or just for being the essence of awesome. Last year’s list included Laura Bush, Tina Fey, my aunt who has kicked cancer’s ass and Ruth Graham. There’s always at least one woman from my personal life who makes the cut though. And here they are, the women I admire for 2009:

The ladies I interviewed for a Vox Magazine article on Women Authors in Mid-Mo: The claws came out in the meeting when this issue’s stories were assigned. Nothing was going to stop me from writing this incredible article. Once I started interviewing these women, however, I was so bummed that I was only allowed 100 words per writer. Each of them were so amazing and so insightful. I had 1000 words easy from every interview. I just wanted to sit at these women’s feet and bask in their writing wisdom.

Meghan McCain: The more I read this girl’s writing and listen to her during TV interviews the more I like her. Some people say she’s just a rich valley girl who knows nothing, but I disagree. She’s an intelligent normal person who has the guts to say what needs to be say. I love that she’s trying to save her party and make them more relevant. I love that she stands up to those who bring up her body and encourages women to love their bodies the way they are.  I am definitely following her on Twitter.

Kristen Wiig: She is by far my favorite cast member on SNL right now. She. is. hilarious. She dominates every sketch she’s in. I love her as Nancy Pelosi and Penelope the One-Upper. If you aren’t watching SNL right now, watch it to see what I’m talking about.

Elizabeth Banks: This gorgeous actress has an incredible range of acting ability. After seeing her on Scrubs as the mother of J.D.’s son at the end of last season and Definitely, Maybe, I was blown away when I just randomly watched Seabiscuit for the first time in years and realized that she plays Seabiscuit’s owners wife! After that serious role, to find out she’s also The Daily Bugle secretary in all three Spidermans, a sex-maniac in The 40-year-old Virgin, one of the leads in Zack and Miri, and Laura Bush in Oliver Stone’s W. blew my mind. Yes, some of her choices in movies are raunchy (just look at the plot of Zack and Miri), but this woman is hilarious, talented and very down-to-earth. She joins Keira Knightely and Natalie Portman as one of my favorite young actresses that I wish I could be friends with.

My Mom: As always, she has to be on this list. I try to live my life like she lives hers. She’s so smart and so cool, and she always seems to react the right way during life’s tough situations and knows what to do. I miss her and wish we could hang out all the time.

One of my BFFs Ashley Geiger: I’ve been struggling a lot on the spiritual front, and Ashley is an inspiration to me. When she talks about God, whether she’s struggling or on top of the world, it always sounds sincere and genuinine. When she says things that would make me gag coming from myself or someone else, it’s the most beautiful thing ever because I know she means it. She’s not trying to impress; she’s being honest. Wish I could be that way, but I always feel like I’m trying to “sound spiritual.”

Lady I’m Keeping an Eye on: Rachel Maddow: She has recently grabbed my attention after seeing her on The Colbert Report and actually watching her show when Meghan McCain was on it. I appreciate her style from what I’ve seen so far. She definitely has me intrigued and will possibly be full-fledged woman-i-admire status next year.

eve.redefined has been around for a whole stinkin year! I can’t believe it! This is crazy. It went by wicked fast. I didn’t blog every week, to my shame, but I hope to do better, just as I hope and strive to do a lot of things better than just getting by. But enough about me, let’s talk more about this blog and where it’s been and where it hopes to head.

I looked back over the last year’s post, numbered some where in the thirties, and I noticed that we’ve covered a lot of content in the many different posts. There are Biblical devotional posts, a book review, posts inspired by pop culture and news, posts that tried to challenge you to think and open some discussion about women’s issues. All this has been great, especially when a posts gets people chattin it up in the comments section (which is always so smart and respectful, thank you!).

Lately, however, it’s been less about the Bible and more about whatever pops into my pretty little head, which I don’t think is necessarily a bad thing. I just wish what popped into my head was more Biblically based. But maybe there’s nothing to worry about because I believe God can speak to use through different media than just the Bible alone. Thoughts?

In the coming year of eve.redefined I would like to read my Bible more so hopefully my posts would be coming through a more Biblical lens, but I do like the potpourri path we’re headed down. I want guest writers. Ladies (and I suppose gentlemen, if I have any manly readers), if you have an idea for a post, write it, comment, and I’ll give you an e-mail address so I can post it!

A year later, we’re still here and still trying to encourage women to be all they can be in Christ.

Much love–Char

Recently, I was confronted by some fellow feminists ranting about people calling them Mrs. Whatever. I found this odd since they had in fact taken their husbands’ last names.  When it comes to titles I can understand someone being offended by not being referred to as Dr., Colonel, President, whatever.  I can even understand married women who have not taken their husbands’ name being ticked at people calling them Mrs. Whatever, but in this woman had chosen to take her husband’s name and still was offended when people called her Mrs. Whatever. What’s that all about?

I think when a woman gets married it is compeletely up to her what she does with her last name.  She can keep hers, take his, hyphenate it, whatever. I chose to take my husband’s last name for a number of reasons.  Personally, I knew myself, and I knew I might struggle with the whole “leaving my family to make a family with him” concept because I’m very close to my family.  I felt that by changing my name I would be making a very real statement that John (and now our puppy Roskoe) is my new immediate family.  I think taking his name helps me see more tangibly that we have become one in Christ.  It’s a physical proclamation of that fact.  And then there’s the much more superficial reason that I had always since I was in middle school been looking forward to finding out what my new name would be.

I cannot lie though. When it came down to it, changing my name was surprisingly traumatic. When I held my new driver’s liscence in my hand, my eyes grew wide.  I had never seen my new name in official government print before.  Sure I had doodled the new signature in my Intercultrual Communication notes, but this was official.  I was this new person.  It became even more jarring when I filled out the paperwork to change my name on my social security card. I left that office thinking that in 10-15 days I would no longer exists.  The person I had been for 21 years was going to be gone.  Now, I know that government records of my old self don’t show that I “disappeared.” I know that it simply shows that I got married and took my husband’s name.  Even though it sounded crazy in my head, I couldn’t help but feeling like I was losing a part of myself.

I came to my senses. It’s gotten easier with time.  I can sign it now without forgetting how to spell it.  I can say it without pausing to think, “Now what’s my last name again?” It still gets me that I’m at the beginning of the alphabet on the roll sheet in class instead of in the middle.  When other people say it or I see it in print somewhere else, I have to double-take. Maybe someday, it will be the other way around.

P.S. At one point in our engagement John suggested that I hyphenate my name since my family is so important to me. I thought that was so sweet, but I decided against it because I didn’t want a long ridiculous mouthful of a last name.

With Barack Obama becoming the first Black president, I’ve been wondering what it must be like to be an African American today.  What does that feel like?  Do you feel anything?  Judging by all the emotion and excitement, I’m guessing yes.  I wonder what it will be like for me if a woman is every elected president.  I’m not going to make the leap that women have ever suffered as much as African Americans, but it’s been a similar journey, I think. Both minorities were disenfranchised.  Both have been considered property at some point in history instead of human beings. Both have had an uphill battle to gain respect and equality in society and the workforce.  Both have had to beat against a glass ceiling.  An African American has broken through the ultimate glass ceiling, the White House, and people everywhere have rejoiced at the acheivement for America.  I’ve heard so many African Americans on the news say things like “People always say you can do anything with your life if you just try, but now I believe and my kids can believe that it’s really possible.”

With all this floating around, I just started wondering, will I feel something similar if I get to see a woman sit behind that desk in the Oval Office?

Why at major universities is Women’s Studies always directly linked to the GLBTQ organization?  Why do these two seem attached at the hip?

This link makes me sad.

My husband and I have been trying out churches in our area in the hopes of finding a church home.  After visiting a promising prospect, we received a welcome information packet for visitors that explained the different ministries and the mission of the church.  It was all well and good until I found the paper I was looking for–the paper on the church’s women’s ministry.  It looked good.  Not only do they have a general women’s ministry for women of all ages, there is also a single’s women ministry that meets at least once a month.  While I am not a single women, I have a lot of single friends who often voice that there is no real place in the church for them once they leave college.  

Unfortunately, this was all too good to be true as I looked to the description for more information.  The women’s Bible study was only offered on Mondays at 10 am.  Most of my friends, family, and myself would never be able to attend this Bible study.  Why?  Because we all have jobs, most of them in education, which is a strict, unforgiving schedule.  Out of all the working women in my life, my part-time retail job is the only one that is flexible, but my duties at work require me to be at work on Mondays from 7 am to noon.  As of last Sunday there was no other option for working women to fellowship and study the Bible with other women at that church.*  While I’m sure this was an unintentional burn, the fact remains that the very time of the Bible study excludes career woman and could be construed to be a smack to her face.  Now, I don’t believe this was this church’s intent.  I don’t want to judge a church I’ve only been to three times, but I think its evidence of a larger attitude towards women in the church culture.  

This isn’t the first time I’ve experienced a women’s Bible study that was only offered to women who did not have careers that kept them in the office during the day.  When I was in high school, my mom (a teacher) wanted to benefit from the Beth Moore Bible study that was of course only offered while she was at school.  So she decided with my bff’s mom to take initiative and set up the same Bible study on the same day but at night for career women.  Of course, the night crowd was smaller than the day crowd, but those women now had an opportunity to grow in Christ with other women in the church.  

If you look at a church bulletin most of the women serving in the church only do so in the capacity of taking care of younger children.  Most pastor’s wives I’ve met do not work, and if they do, only in a Christian setting, never out in the real world.  Yeah, the real world is a scary place, but Christ called us to be a light in that world, not to hide from it.

Just as it’s not okay for the world to punish women who choose to stay at home, it is not okay for churches to punish women who choose to have a career.  Women, just like everyone else in the world, were born unique individuals with different interests, talents, and abilities.  Not every woman is called to be a mother or a stay-at-home wife and therefore should not be seen as less of a woman, person, or follower of Christ for not following a calling she never received.  Women who stay at home or remain in the Christian setting should not be put on a pedastal above those of us who choose to go out into the world.  Neither should the working woman be above the stay-at-home woman.  Both are equal in God’s eyes and so both should be equal in the eyes of the church and be given the same opportunities to grow and serve.

*This Sunday, as I opened my bulletin at the previously mentioned church, I was pleased to find another women’s Bible study will be offered Thursday nights.