Scrubs is one of my all-time favorite shows, and as I was watching a rerun, I was thinking about what I was watching. Elliot Reed was struggling with the fact that the lab work she requests always takes longer than the male doctors in the hospital. Jordan and Carla tell her that the best way for her to level the playing field between her and the boys is to use her sexuality to get what she needs with winks and lingering innocent touches. Elliot masters this ability and enjoys getting what she wants when she wants it. Elliot is also up for winning a fellowship at the hospital and has her interview coming up. She cuts in a line to get a soda (using her feminine charm) and takes the last one. The man she cuts is her interviewer. He mutters to himself, “If the rest of the women who work in this hospital are like her, she’s not getting that fellowship.”
I can’t help but feel conflicted in this situation. It seems fair with how off-kilter work environments can be that women should be able to use every tool in their arsenals to get a fair chance. On the other hand, doesn’t that completely undermine what we really want, to be valued, respected, and rewarded for our intelligence, talents, and abilities? Isn’t that completely disrespecting ourselves? But when we can’t get recognized for those higher values, what are we supposed to do? Just lie around and pray for some man or a lucky woman in power to come around who will notice and give us an opportunity?
What’s a girl to do? Is there an amount of using your feminine wiles that is appropriate? If that line exists, where is it? Lend me your thoughts. Do you have any answers to these questions?
This is a good question, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot.
Honestly, I can’t shake my idealist stance on this, which is: I don’t want to live in a world where either a) I feel like I have to use my sexuality to get ahead, or b) where anyone should be allowed to get ahead merely on merit of genetics (as opposed to accomplishments and qualifications and commitment).
I know that there are still work environments where women are held back by their gender. But wouldn’t it be just as bad for humanity as a whole if the reverse were true? If women were promoted and rewarded simply for being female?
For me, it boils down to this: by relying on my feminine wiles to get what I want, I’m selling myself short. I’m saying that’s all that I’m worth. I’m saying I deserve what I want, because I’ve got these charms. I’m not going to say that I’ve never done it, or that I won’t ever do it again. It happens…sometimes unconsciously, and even a few conscious times. All that I’m saying is I’m not living up to my own potential when I use this. Instead of my wiles being an awesome extension of being a woman, they becomes a crutch. Debilitating and weakening.
Idealist? Yeah, probably. But I believe in working towards the kind of world I want to live in…even in the workplace.