double standards in custody

I happened to be up early enough this morning and with time to kill before work so I flipped on the Today Show. A report caught my attention and immediately made me think of this blog. I have to know what you think of this. Read the full report here and then comment and tell me what’s going on in your head. There’s also an article in this month’s Marie Claire that you can read here.

Apparently, there are over 2 million women in America are non-custodial mothers. These are women who have gotten divorced and relinquish physical custody to the father. Now, I don’t want this to become a discussion about divorce, but I do think it’s interesting the stigma attached to women who do decide to allow their ex-husbands physical custody of the children. At first I was shocked and appalled, but then, I started to understand why a person’s initial reaction to that mother would be to judge. After being entrenched in a social idea that women should always have custody, that women should always be the primary caregiver, it’s hard for some to wrap their minds around the idea that a mother who loves her children (because all the mothers mentioned in this story seem like loving, involved mothers) would be willing to hand over physical custody, but why is it not an outrage for a dad who loves his children to give up custody? It’s becoming more and more acceptable for a dad to be the primary caregiver (whether the couple is still together or not), but on the other side of the coin, women are still being stigmatized when they give up their socially accepted role.

pink month

Since this is a blog about women I thought it would be appropriate to give a nod to October being Breast Cancer Awareness month.  My paternal grandmother, aunt, and mother-in-law are all breast cancer survivors.  I’m pretty sure everyone I know knows someone who has fought or is fighting this terrible disease.  And this disease isn’t just any cancer, it attacks one of the things that symbolizes being a woman…the tatas, the part of our bodies that nurture our children.  This makes breast cancer a beast to deal with, but losing your boobs doesn’t in anyway make you less of a woman and don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.  A woman is who you are on the inside…your heart…your soul.

Now I know its just a big marketing ploy developed to gain our loyalty and trust, but I can’t help but fall for it.  I love how every October, stores are filled with pink products and some of your money goes to research a cure for breast cancer.  So cool!  I get so excited when Yoplait yogurt is suddenly topped with pink foil; Bath and Body Works spotlights its pink fragrances, and Target busts out the pink cookware!  Who doesn’t need a set of pink measuring cups!

For more ideas on how to support the fight against breast cancer other than shopping, visit the National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Why Being a Girl Rocks

This is a silly post, but I need to write something so here is a list that is meant to encourage:

We smell good.

We get to wear make up.

We can wear pants or skirts or dresses!  We have wardrobe options!

ACCESSORIES!

The look of shock on a boy’s face when you’re better at something.

The journey on figuring out how to balance being strong and being feminine.

If you have any other reasons, please leave a comment.

much love–char

Sermon on the Mount

I am back from my hiatus and ready to get to work on this blog! Just an update on the reasons for my hiatus: I have successfully graduated from college and married to the man of my dreams! But now I can focus on keeping up with this blog.

The Sermon on the Mount takes up Matthew chapters 5 and 6. It is packed with the central ideas of Jesus’ ministry. He doesn’t actually talk about women or their roles specifically. Mostly Jesus discusses how we should relate to others, how we pray, and he redefines sin as something in the heart not just an immoral act. Jesus also takes this opportunity to explain why He has come to earth in Matthew 5:17-20 where He says He has come to fulfill the law. It’s an incredible two chapters, but I’m going to focus on Matthew 5:27-30 where Jesus talks about lust.

Now in these verses, Jesus expands the definition of adultery to include men lusting after a woman , not just sleeping with a woman other than their wives (I believe Christ says woman in these verses because men seem to struggle with lust more, but I do believe that women can lust after men, and that is not acceptable either). Just like the other sins Christ redefines in the Sermon on the Mount, Christ expands sin to include the what is going on in a person’s heart, not just the outward sinful act.

Something else I wanted to look at in this passage though is what it says about women. Lust is all about objectifying other people, only looking at them as an object intended for our own pleasure and fulfill our own needs. It’s extremely degrading and damaging to both the person being lusted after and the person doing the lusting. By proclaiming lust a sin, Christ is proclaiming that women are not just objects put on this earth to fulfill men’s desires. Women are people that are to be respected and loved, not lusted after. While Christ doesn’t say this outright, I believe that if a man stopped lusting after women as Christ instructs, respect would eventually grow, and I believe that what we see in the Gospels is that Christ wants us to respect and love all people, including women.

Much love–Char

Hiatus

I am really enjoying writing for this blog, and I look forward to devoting more time to it.  Unfortunately, graduating from college is my priority right now as I only have a week and a half left and two and a half weeks before my wedding.  Until I return from my honeymoon, I’m afraid I cannot promise the quality or consistency of this blog’s content so I am taking a hiatus until June 1.  Tune in June 1 for more thoughts on women and Christianity.  Enjoy the beginning of summer!

Much love–Char